Hello, Friends!

Well, it seems that things at work have slowed down for a moment. I'm sure I could be testing something or investigating some bug or something productive like that, but I'm just not feeling it today. As much as I complain when it's busy, the time sure does go by much more quickly than it does when there's nothing to do. I've been watching the clock all day. One more hour to go. I keep asking myself what could I do to pass the time. Decided a post to catch everyone up on me would be a good start. :-)

I finally decided on a church. I've been going to St. Catherine's since the end of January. A couple weeks ago, I decided that while it's not aesthetically what I had in mind, they have a fantastic choir and I find myself becoming comfortable there. So, I called and registered as a parishioner. The woman that I spoke with tried to convince me that I should go to one of the churches that are closer to me, but I told her that I'd been to mass at both and prefer St. Catherine's. You'd think they'd be glad to get the additional income, however small it may be, right? I dunno. Apparently, you're supposed to stay with your most local parish. I said no and she went ahead an took my info. Al most two weeks later, I received a welcome letter (which also mentioned that I live too far away and should I try to register my hypothetical children to go to school there, the children that live closer would get preference. Good thing there are no school age children in my house, huh?), along with my tithing envelopes and a book that has a number of prayers and Catholic traditions explained in it. I went to mass Saturday afternoon and, of course, forgot my envelope. Oh well, next week, they'll know that I'm making my contribution.

A couple weeks ago, I got a pretty nasty cold from the girl that waxed my eyebrows. It's been fun. Started with congestion and a sore throat. Progressed into PINK EYE...In BOTH eyes... That has gone away, and now I'm back to being stuffy and the cough has begun its course. It's really been a joy. And my husband swears that he's a doctor without the education (or the paycheck). He always has suggestions of what's going to make me feel better. Tells me not to take this or to take that. He always has the answers, ya know? :-P I just nod and roll my eyes after he goes away.

Speaking of Hubby, he's permanantly back on 3rd shift. Two weeks ago, his boss asked him to work 3rd for a week and a half. Today, he was supposed to go back to 1st. Then Hubby comes home from work last Thursday and tells me that he's on 3rd for good. I'm so bummed! I really liked having him on 1st shift. Not that we spent a lot of time together, but it was nice to not be alone at night. And we'd eat dinner together a few times a week. And I'd get to go to bed good and early, since he had to get up at 4:30, he was in bed by 8:30 every night. It's not just the weeknights, either. The weekends are funky because he doesn't like to get his schedule out of whack. So he stays up most of the night and then naps during the day all weekend. Stinks! However, I'm not complaining because at least he still has a job!

The future of my job is still up in the air. The deal is now supposed to be done at the end of April. It keeps on getting extended. Which is just fine with me. The longer it drags out, the longer things stay the same. Perhaps that's a bad attitude to have, but I just feel like I have more security this way. I have updated my resume, but I haven't sent it to anyone or applied anywhere, yet. I am just terrified of the whole interviewing process. Ack.

I have an appointment to finally have my wisdom teeth taken out on Thursday. It was supposed to happen Tuesday of last week, but I had the stink eye and they made it very clear that I was not to come in if I had a cough or cold of any kind. I'm hoping that everything's broken up and I'm doing better by Thursday afternoon. If not, I'll have to reschedule again. Yes, I'm super scared about it. But I just want to get it over and done with. Have a few days of drug-induced stupor, eating mashed potatoes, pudding & sorbet...And then get on with my life. Rather than having this scary-ass "surgery" looming in the future. I have put it off long enough. I had a week or two there where I was in a lot of pain. Something must have gotten knocked aloose and the broken tooth was really being a bitch. That pain has since gone away, so that's good. But I can't delay the inevitable much longer. Besides, I won't have dental anymore after this deal goes through at work, so the sooner, the better.

Valentine's Day weekend was my sorority formal. A handful of my girlfriends and I decided to leave our men at home. It was nice to not have to keep my husband entertained for the night, but it was also a bit of a bummer because I had to drive BFF & me back home. She didn't drink and would've been fine to drive us home, but when there aren't any men to drive us home, the women all have to be responsible. It's no fun to get drunk when no one else is, ya know? But it was nice to have dinner and dance with the girls. I was super excited about my dress up until I got there and saw what everyone else had worn. My dress was pretty simple - bright turquoise, long, spaghetti straps with a little beading in a starburst kind of pattern that started on my hip. But everyone else had more like cocktail dresses...less like prom dresses. If I go next year, I'll definitely take that into account when shopping. I felt a bit out of place. There were a few girls with long dresses like mine, but we were definitely the minority. So...For your viewing pleasure, here are some pics from the dance. Please excuse my hair...It was flipping hot in that place and my bangs were washed that morning...They didn't last very long. :-P

Me & BFF @ my house before we left. We did NOT plan to have matching dresses. I convinced her to go with me a week before the dance and she borrowed the dress from her sister. What can I say, the girl has great taste!!

Black & Blue! :-)

Some Alumni Ladies

Just a few of the Girls

Sunday Funday!

Well, today, I'm starting in on those resolutions. I'm planning to go to mass today. I thought it was at 9:30, when it's actually at 10:30. If I'd realized this 20 minutes earlier than I did, I could've gone to the 8am mass. But I didn't and that's that. So, while I wait for 10 am to roll around, I've decided to share some love with you! :-)

Yesterday, we went to my mother-in-law's house for Christmas brunch. She made biscuits and sausage gravy and then we opened presents with her and her longtime boyfriend. I got a cast iron skillet set! A large one and a smaller one. Both of which are so much heavier than I thought they'd be. lol Hubby got the new keyboard (for his computer) that he's been wanting for some time. We hung out and watched a little tv with her and then hit the road in the early afternoon. She had to work last night, so we didn't want to overstay our welcome. On the way home, Hubby told me that he actually liked MY gravy better than his mom's. OH EM GEE!! That's one of the nicest things he's ever said to me!

I'm going to test out my new skillet tonight. BFF is coming over for dinner tonight. I always feel kinda lame when she comes over. I make dinner and then we just hang out watching tv. I don't have anything really exciting to do, but she doesn't complain. She seems to be happy to just hang out. And hell, a free steak out of the deal, I mean - who's going to bitch about that???

While we're talking about BFF here...I have a question/situation with her, maybe someone reading can help me out. Whenever BFF and I have plans to do something (Go shopping downtown, come over for dinner, go out to the bar, go to the aquarium), she is ALWAYS inviting other people to join us. Tonight, for example, I invited her to come over yesterday. She says cool. I text her three hours later, asking when she's going to come and if she's going to stay for dinner. She says she doesn't know what time she'll be coming, but yes for dinner. Oh, and BTW, the Bulgarian might be coming, too. The Bulgarian is another girl that we went to college with, who I get along with, but isn't #1 on my list of favorite people - I put up with her because BFF likes her and also because I'm too nice for my own good. BFF does this all the time. She invites other people to join us when I think it's just going to be the two of us. I had four tickets to get into one of the museums downtown. We had plans for four people and then all of a sudden, she's bringing two more. Dude, what?

Hubby tells me that I should say something to her about this - Stop inviting people to do things with us when we make plans! And I don't want to do that. But I really would appreciate it if she would ask me first, rather than just telling me 'Hey, so and so is coming too.' Should I say something? Or just continue to let her make all the rules?

A brighter day!

I do feel a bit better after dumping my issues on all of you yesterday. Thanks for letting me dump on ya'll.

On a more positive note, my friend JB from work, is having a 2nd birthday party for her daughter in a few weeks and she decided that she wanted to make her invitations, rather than go out and buy them. She is doing a ballerina theme and drew a couple of feet in ballet shoes. She brought her drawing in to work Tuesday, and asked me if I had any ideas of how she could color it it - she tried colored pencils and didn't like how it turned out. She talked about using markers. And then she was asking if I had any ideas of how to put the text on it.

I had her scan her drawing and told her I could use photoshop to color it is, as well as put her text on it. I didn't have time to work on it yesterday, so I did it this morning (instead of working...:-/). She loves how it turned out. And frankly, so do I. :-)

She's going to buy pink ribbon and tie a bow to the ribbon on the left ankle.

I wish I could do something like this for my job. Some sort of graphic design or photo editing. I lose a lot of my creativity when it comes to doing artsy crafty projects. But give me picnik.com and photoshop, and I really feel like I can produce pretty images.

Ugh. Maybe in my next life.

Today is going to be good. I've decided to have a positive outlook on the day. I'm leaving work at 3 today. Kiss my ass, if you don't like it, people. Making chicken & beef tacos for dinner. My BFF is coming over for din din. We're gonna make a match.com profile for another friend. And we're watching Grey's. I was just going to say 'How could it NOT be a good night?' but I'm pretty sure that if that cat shits someplace other than in the litter box, that could put a damper on the day. Whatever. Positive attitude!

Oh! Another perk to today! I'm either getting a free pizza lunch from the manager (he keeps saying he wants to do this, but hasn't made it happen yet. Tuesday night, as I was leaving, he suggested doing it today. Don't know if it's actually going to happen, though) OR I'm leaving for a while with JB. We're planning to go to JoAnne Fab's for the pink ribbon for her invitations. I LOVE JoAnne's. I might look around for Halloweeny things. Not that I have money to throw away. But, ya know. It's fun to look.

Today's gonna be a good, good day! :-)

Forty Six minutes....Go!

Forty six minutes until the weekend begins. Yay!

Last weekend went pretty well. Mouse's surprise party for her mom was very nice. Mouse was dressed as skanky as ever. I wouldn't expect any less. :-) It was cool hanging out with my Pops for a while. We chit chatted and had a nice prime rib dinner. Mouse's mom didn't recognize me at first - after a little reminder of 'Jenni down the street from kindergarten,' then she got it. She gave me a hug and thanked me for coming and then turned to my dad and said 'And this is your husband?' I laughed and probably turned a little red and then told her, no, this is the guy that used to drop me off at your house just about every weekend. Yikes! Although, I suppose when your own husband is 24 years older than you, that appears normal...? (She just turned 60 and her husband - Mouse's dad - is 84.) We stayed at the party until a bit after 8 and then went back to the 'rents house.

I hung out with my mom for a while, and was reminded that while I do put her on a well-deserved pedestal for being the strong woman that she is, sometimes, she's just a regular mom. We were watching an Ugly Betty rerun when she decides to tell me how America Ferrera went on jenny Craig and lost a bunch of weight. Oh yeah? That's cool. And then she tells me that I should do JC, too. I tell her that it costs a lot and that my problem is mainly that I'm lazy. I HATE getting sweaty. To which she tells me she feels sorry for me. Ugh. Mom, stop. There's no reason to feel sorry for me. Maybe I can't fit into a size 8 dress (hell, I couldn't fit my right ass cheek in a size 8 dress...), but I'm okay with that. Yeah, it'd be nice to be smaller. Might Would help in the baby-making process, but just like ten and fifteen years ago, your telling me that you feel sorry for me, that doesn't help. Just irritates me. So, I take that opportunity to tell my mom I love her and that it's time for me to go now. My dad assures me when I'm walking out that she's just trying to help. :-P Thank you, Mom.

I didn't get home on Friday night until after Hubby left (which was really quite nice. No sandwiches to make, to assholes to wake up. Good times!). I watched some tv, did laundry and went to bed around 1. Woke up at 6 and started getting ready for our camping trip. Hubby got home at 7 and informed me that we wouldn't be camping - just going to the rally and then back home again. I was bummed about the lack of camping, but what're you going to do? We drove down to Pontiac and hung out with all of his parents' buddies from the BMW club. Found out that a friend of mine is dating the roommate of the son of one of the other club members (Lemme break it down...A is my friend. She is dating M. M is living with Z. Z's dad, J, is in the same BMW club as Hubby's mom, and used to be pretty good friends with Hubby's dad before he passed). Small world, right??

The rally was nice. No games or events were going on. Just sitting around in a camping chair, listening to them all tell stories about their bikes and their trips. I was told a couple times that I don't talk enough. Well, yeah. I have no similar stories, Guy. Nothing to banter about when you're talking about your '89 Goldwing. Sorry. I was content to just sit in the shade, with the breeze blowing through, and just listen to them all chat. We got home by 10 on Saturday night and were both sleeping within 20 minutes of arriving at the house.

Sunday was grocery shopping and relaxing. And then back to work on Monday.

This week has had its fair share of ups and downs. Wednesday took the prize for the worst day in a long ass time. Got stuck in traffic on the way to work, which resulted in my getting here at 8:30, instead of the usual 7 or 7:30. Work was going all kinds of wrong. Not enough programmers in the office. A deadline that looked like it wasn't going to be made. Ended up staying late. And then the drive home...At 5pm...in a thunderstorm...with no a/c...I had to drive with the windows cracked, so I could get some cool air circulating. So, I'm getting rained on. And then, since it was 5pm, traffic was essentially standing still. I decided to take a different route home, thinking it'd be easier than the planned route. But there were lights to deal with. Every time I had to sit at a light, my windows got all fogged up and I got re-drenched as the rain came in the open window. Luckily, I wore two shirts that day, so I was able to take one off and wipe off the windshield as needed. When I got close to home, I hear tornado sirens going off and then I'm in the middle of horrible wind, downpouring rain, the sky's all greenish. I was pretty much scared shitless, but I managed to make it home in one piece. I made a yummy (leftover) dinner, put on my PJs and watched Top Chef, so that aided in making it a better night.

And then yesterday was a total 180 from the previous day. I waited for Hubby to get home, so I took HIS air conditioned car to work. Traffic wasn't horrendous. I stopped at Walmart (which is apparently growing on me...I'm a bit scared...), and bought a new shirt, which is totally cute and a fabulous color, for $15. I didn't work much in the morning and then we took an almost three hour team lunch at Maggiano's (paid for by the manager). After lunch, I futzed around for another hour and a half, and then was out of here. Picked up my photos for class (which were AWESOME! - I'll post them on FotoJenic soon) and headed to my last photography class. I felt very accomplished with my photos...I do feel like I've learned a little something. And I got some really interesting photos out of the deal.

Today's almost over (just 12 minutes left!)...On the way home today, I'm planning to stop and get my nails done...Afterward, I'll head home for a bottle of wine and some dinner. Maybe catch up on some missed shows from the week. Excited to get out of here and let my weekend begin.

Tomorrow is actually the first wedding of this summer. I'm letting Hubby stay home and bringing my BFF as my date. She just moved back here from TX, and I'm SO happy to have her back. She's freaking out a bit at the lack of control she has over her own life right now, but she's here and that makes ME (at the very least) a happy girl. Sunday will probably be spent chillaxin and doing laundry. Why does it seem that there's always more dishes to be washed and more laundry to be done? No matter how often I do them both, there's always more!!!

Anyway...1 minute left. I think that's close enough. Hope everyone has a fabu weekend!!!

I'm still kickin...

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. And I haven't gone into hibernation (though the idea of it is really, really nice...). I've just been busy sucked into a new tv show. I started watching Rescue Me a couple weeks ago, and have finally watched every episode, including the latest one which aired on Tuesday. I'm so in love with Denis Leary right now. He's not hot...But there's something about him or the character that's so super sexy.

I've actually had shit going on in life, too. Work's been a bit busy, so that's nice. When I don't have time to blog and/or read other blogs while I'm at work, that means I'm actually doing something worthy of being paid. Well, either that or I'm checking Facebook every five minutes for new updates and quizzes and emails from another tv-obsessed friend of mine.

A few weeks ago, some of my girlfriends and I got together for our first book club meeting. It was fantabulous! We went to dinner, where we discussed the book ("My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult) and then after chatting for a while, went to see the movie in the local theater. We chose our next book ("The Time Traveller's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger, a Chicago native! Woot! Reppin' the hometown!) and decided that we'd do the same thing for our next meeting - dinner & discussion, followed by a viewing of the movie. I haven't gotten very far in the book. Not that I'm not into it, just that I've been so busy with Tommy Gavin, I haven't had time for reading. Our next book club meeting is on the coming up soon, so I'll have to get on that.

Last weekend, I spent Saturday running errands and pampering myself with a fresh fill on my nails. Spent some "quality time" with Hubby. Twice. lol Sunday, I made some potato salad for a BBQ at a friend's house (which apparently turned out quite well...Everyone seemed to like it. I'll post the recipe some time. SO easy!). I managed to get Hubby to get out of the house and go to the BBQ with me. I didn't really give him an option of saying no. I just told him WE were going. That worked out pretty well. He wasn't the most social person at the shindig...He spent most of the afternoon on the couch, watching Mythbusters, but at least he came with me. He chatted with a couple guys that he's talked to before and tried to at least listen to what was going on. I wish that he was more outgoing sometimes. I feel bad when we go to one of these parties and he puts himself in the loner seat. I like to be in the conversation, rather than standing around on the outside. But when he's with me, I don't want to make his uncomfortable-ness worse by leaving him to fend for himself. So, I stick around and keep him company. Anyway, the BBQ was a great time.

I'm super stoked about this weekend. Tomorrow night, my dad and I are going to a surprise party for the mother of one of my oldest friends (Mouse). I've known Mouse since kindergarten. So, that's like 22 years. Shit. After kindergarten, we never got placed in the same class. I always wondered if they did that on purpose...I assumed so. I mean, there was something like 120 kids in our class, spread between four classrooms. But we didn't let that hinder our friendship. We sat together on the bus and played clapping games like 'Miss Mary Mack' and 'Down, Down Baby'. I'm pretty sure we were laughed at. Whatever. It was fun for us. Every Saturday morning, after I got out of CCD, my dad and I would go pick her up and she & I would go rollerskating. Toward the end of elementary school, we started growing apart. She was hanging out with a different crowd and in junior high, I transferred schools. We lost touch, but then freshman year of high school, I got in contact with her again (gotta love the internet!). She started dating my boyfriend's best friend, and then after we broke up with those boys, we still continued to hang out. However, in high school, things started getting a little crazy. There were some incidents that involved beer and cigarettes and boys. Oh, the plethora of boys.

Since then, we've had this relationship where we drift in and out of one another's lives. But I've always considered her a friend. She was supposed to go to a wedding with me a couple months ago and while that didn't pan out, she did invite me to her mom's 60th bday party, which is where I started with this whole thing. She invited me and a guest, which was supposed to be Hubby, but he has to work. And the whole anti-social thing...So, I asked my dad to go with me. I'm pretty stoked about the whole thing. I got THE CUTEST DRESS which I'll pair with a white, short-sleeved sweater, brown wedge sandals and this incredibly hot piece of jewelry, which I can't find on the FB website. I'll try to take a pic tomorrow. I'm kind of excited to have a night out with my Dad. I've always been Daddy's Little Girl and it'll be nice to have a dinner with him that he doesn't have to prepare first. I doubt that we'll know anyone else there, but it's cool. Should be fun.

Saturday, we're driving out to Pontiac, IL, for what's referred to as the Dinks Rally. It's a motorcycle/camping...thing... Something that Hubby grew up doing and his mom still does. It'll be about a three hour drive for us. I haven't been to this rally before, but apparently they do funny games and there's a band and sounds like a good time. Hubby says there should be a couple hundred people there. I just hope the weather cooperates. It's supposed to be stupid hot again, but if it isn't too muggy, I can probably deal. I think I'm going to lug the camera with me. I'm not usually one for participating in stuff, especially stuff that's going to result in me looking stupid, but I'm always up for capturing OTHER PEOPLE making fools of themselves. :-)

We'll camp Saturday night (that's the tentative plan...Hubby may put the kabash on that, depending on the weather) and then drive back home on Sunday morning. The rest of Sunday will probably be spent recuperating, and then back to the grind on Monday.

Anyway...I started this post thinking it was going to be short and sweet...Saying I'm still alive and this blog will soon return to it's regularly scheduled blathering. But apparently, I just had too much to say to keep it all in! I think I've expelled all I have for now. Hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend!!!

I just need one more day...

...to recover from this weekend. Geez, did it fly by!!!

Thursday, I left work later than planned and actually missed my last photography class. The traffic between work and home was horrendous. And I hadn't thought to bring my camera to work with me, so I had to stop at home to pick up my cam. By the time I got to the park district, I was a half hour late and everyone was gone already. Boo. No class this week, but then round two starts next Thursday. I'm pretty excited about this one. We'll have actual assignments. We'll have to have them printed for class. I'm stoked about that. Give me a challenge! :-D

The rest of Thursday was just getting Hubby off to work and lounging around the house. Friday, the morning was quiet. Played the Sims for a while and then went over to my Uncle's house for a big birthday bash. He and his son share a birthday and this year was a big one for both of them - 50 for Uncle Jack and 21 for my cousin, Ryan. They only live about 30 minutes from me, now. I wish I was closer to them. Obviously not distance-wise, but like...Familiar-wise. I really don't know them at all. Ryan has always been very quiet at family parties, not much to say and one word answers when asked a question. I just figured he was a shy kid. No big. His younger sister, Erin, is a lot more outgoing with the family. Has plenty to say. I recently hooked up with both of them on Facebook. It's interesting to see them in pics with their friends or to see how they interact with other, non-relative, people. When I was saying goodbye later in the afternoon, I told Ryan that I'd love to have him and his sister over sometime. I wish I could be the cool, older cousin whose house they feel like they could hang out at, if they just wanted some time away from Mom & Dad. When I suggested that they come out, he said yeah, sure. But I know it's all a facade. That's not how our family works. We get together a couple times a year - once at Christmas and generally once in the summer - and that's it. My dad and his three bros get together every once in a while, but that's really it. It just saddens me that I don't have a real relationship with any of my extended family, other than my mom's parents.

Anyway, back to the weekend. After the family party, I went back home and hung out with Hubby for a while. Played some more Sims and went to bed pretty early. Saturday morning, did a bit of cleaning and chillin. Took a four hour nap after lunch. Did a little more cleaning and then we went to the new Walmart at like 11pm. Spent entirely too much money. And then stayed up til 3am, making potato salad, which, it turns out, needed a lot more salt.

Sunday, got up at 7, made a wonderfully tasty and beautiful dessert - Red, White & Bluebarry Trifles (Hopefully Hubby won't dig in to the untouched one that's home. Assuming he doesn't, I'll take some pics tonight) - cleaned until noon and then showered and got ready for our guests. A friend from out of town was visiting for the weekend, so we had a BBQ. I was prepared for about 20 people, 7 of which didn't show. Everything turned out pretty nicely, though. I grilled burgers, brats and hot dogs. We set up a couple tables and chairs out in the garage and had a nice afternoon. It was really nice to get together with the girls. I'm so glad that they were able to make it out. Everyone was gone by 8pm. Hubby helped me clean up and then we were in bed by 9.

I couldn't believe the alarm was already going off at 4:30 this morning. I'm dragging ass today. It's so quiet in here. Half the office is out today (4 out of 9) and it's just silent. My eyelids keep drooping. Each time I blink, I'm sure I'm going to fall asleep. And I've got a bit of a tummyache. I was going to suggest sushi for lunch, but I'd hate to ruin it by not feeling so well. That shit is so expensive...I have no desire to get sick after I've spent $30 on lunch - for myself alone. Maybe tomorrow instead.

Five more days (including today!) until I am off for 9 days straight. O.M.G. I cannot effing wait. I still have no idea where we're going or what we're doing, but it is going to be fun, damnit. :-)

Hope everyone had a fabulous holiday weekend!!!

Weekend Update

I had a very nice, albeit short, weekend! Friday night, I came home and watched back episodes of The Cleaner with Benjamin Bratt. It's the story of an ex-addict who in his own recovery has found a calling to help others through the same thing. He is hired by people who have loved ones suffering from some kind of addiction - drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex - they mostly focus on drug addicts in the show, though. William (Bratt's character) and his team track down the addict, find the supplier, "catch" the addict and bring them to a rehab facility. They talk about how the failure rate of these caught addicts is 75%. Only one quarter of all the people that they bring to rehab are successful in kicking their habit. Yikes. Anyway, I got sucked into the show. That's what I did on Friday. I had leftovers for dinner, made Hubby his BLT's and went to bed.

Saturday, I woke up around 7 when Hubby got home from work. We hung out for a while - he played WoW, I played Sims 3. I did a bit of cleaning and then took a shower and ran some errands. Finally got my pool pass - definitely going to take advantage of that soon. Went to JoAnn Fabrics and got some material to make a backdrop for my photos. Came back home and ordered a pizza for dinner. Watched some more Cleaner and went to bed around 10.

Sunday, Hubby woke me up around 6, after he'd been up for an hour and a half. Before I even woke up, he did some cleaning and put on a pot of coffee for me. We had some breakfast and I finished up with the cleaning while he went out and mowed the lawn. I did a bit of sewing - my backdrop isn't quite what I'd planned, but it's not bad. It serves its purpose. And then around 2, Mel & the kids came by. We took some pics at the house, but I had forgotten how difficult it can be to get 2 and 3 year olds to sit still and look in the same direction at the same time. So, we put the nix on that and went out to the park. It was a beautiful day and I think the kids had a nice time. I got some great pics at the park, which I'll be sharing soon. After while, the kids got tuckered out, so they all headed back home. Spent the rest of the evening having dinner with Hubby and talking about plans for the week.

Like I said, short & sweet. :-)

True to to nature...

I'm going to do two posts in one day, one was a meme and the other, a belated Weekend Update. Good times, huh?

My weekends have been pretty quiet for the last few weeks. Hence the lack of Weekend Updates. Last weekend (the weekend of the 13th), I went out to see Steph for her 23rd bday. The plan was to hit up the local drive-in, but the weather just wasn't cooperating. So, instead, we went to the regular movie theater. We saw The Hangover. It was a pretty good flick. We sat in the third row, because the little theater was PACKED! I thought I'd be feeling nauseous or have a headache by the end, but I didn't, so that was good. Quite funny. Andy from The Office (I don't know his real name and don't really feel like going to look it up) was in the movie. HilARious! Love that guy!

This past weekend, Hubby came home from work early on Friday night...Got home at like 3am. I didn't know he was there until 5, when I was hollering at the cat and he responded. Scared the shit out of me for a second until I remembered that his vacation time started over and it was only a matter of time before he left early. I could care less, as long as he has the time. He has a bad habit of using all his vacation and personal time early in the year and then for the last six months, every time he wants a day off, or a couple hours off, he has to take no pay. Which he never seems to have a problem with. I could kick him every time.

Anyway, I went back to sleep and woke up around 7, thinking that we were going to go to Menard's to pick up some yard stuff and then work in the yard for a few hours. That never happened. Hubby didn't leave his desk chair all weekend, with the exception of a few hours when he napped and a couple potty breaks. What a turd. Saturday was just a blur. I got Culver's and TacoHell for dinner. We did not a damn thing.

Sunday, I went to visit the fam. My grandparents were there, which was nice, but they only stayed for a while. Opa wasn't feeling well and wanted to go back home. Poor guy. He starts radiation this week. I don't really have any more info, except that they did some more tests last week to determine if the cancer has spread to any organs. As far as I know, we don't have any results on that.

The rest of the afternoon/evening, I just hung out with my parents. I read to my mom for a while (who needs a book on tape/cd/mp3 when you have your own personal readers??) and then checked out my dad's Father's Day gift - a new grill. He was testing it out on me - he made ribs, red potatoes and asparagus (and showed me an awesomely easy way to grill the asparagus!!! You take a couple toothpicks and stick them through the spears, making a "boat" of sorts. Makes it way easier to turn them and you don't lose them through the grates of the grill...Good deal!). Very nice dinner with my dad. After dinner, I got back in the car - I had Hubby's - no way was I going to put up with the heat when I didn't HAVE to - and made the long journey back home. I pretty much went to bed as soon as I got home, while Hubby continued to play the game straight through the night and until noon on Monday. Seriously, that man has an addiction. Last night, though, he did comment that he needed a break from WoW. Like a whole weekend. Call me Thomas, but I'll believe it when I see it.

Not much else is going on with me. I'm bored with life in general. The future of my company is still up in the air. Bossman Bob met with the potential purchaser (we'll call him the Donald) yesterday, and while he hasn't accepted the deal yet (wasn't offered enough moula), he also didn't turn them away. He's going to mull it over for a week and get back to them. If he does decide to sell, the Donald says that he'd like to keep all of us on, but in new roles. He'd want to send the programming/development over to India and the existing programmers/developers would move to sales/support. Which made me question my own job. If the programmers, who have far more knowledge than I do, are bumped to support, where does that leave me? I mean, that's what I do now. As a tester, JB and I are the main contacts for our clients. They call us, JB and I try to work out or duplicate the problem and then we submit the issue to the programmers. If they're doing our job, where does that leave us? It's a little concerning, but, as I've said before, I feel bored. And if my job security was in question, chances are, I'd be on monster and careerbuilder faster than ... well, I dunno what. But fast.

I sent an email to a bunch of my friends, with a link to my photo blog and told them all that I'm looking for human subjects and that I'm offering my services free of charge. I have three or four pretty definite things set up, and a handful of others saying they're interested, just let 'em know when. So, I'm glad I did that. I'm a bit nervous that I won't be as good as I'm hoping, but that's the whole idea, right. Develop the portfolio. Develop the skills. And they're my friends. They've gotta at least pretend to like the photos. ;-)

Wow...This turned out to be much longer than expected. Well, there ya have it. That's most of June, so far. :-)

Lost art of conversation

How does one forget how to hold a conversation?

Between the ages of 12 and 18, I spent literally hours on the phone after being in school all day. I'd call one friend after another. I'd sit in the front hall or in the back room office or in my bedroom and just blabber on about who knows what from the time I got home until the time we ate dinner and as soon as dinner & homework were done, I was back on the phone again until 9, when Dad hollered for me to get off the phone.

Now, 10 years later, when I try to have a conversation with people, I often find myself at a loss for things to say. I never have anything interesting to bring up and I have a difficult time coming up with responses to whatever story someone else is telling me. This problem seems to be accentuated when it comes to phone conversations. I always feel like a lame ass when I'm talking with someone and then there's this long pause.

I just don't know what to talk about. My life is completely uninteresting. Every day, it's the same damn thing, for the most part. I wake up, shower, and go to work. Once I'm at the office, I spend maybe 80% of the time working. The other 20% is spent doing my makeup before everyone else gets there or catching up on the blogs that I'm following while I eat my lunch or getting sucked into Facebook quizzes for that last hour of the day. Okay...Maybe it's more like 75/25. As soon as I hit that magic 8-hour mark, I pack up all my shit and drive home. Some days I hit the bank or the grocery store on the way home...ooooh...Exciting. When I get home, I make dinner, sometimes I do a little cleaning, I sit in front of my computer and then between 10 & 10:30, I go to bed. I turn on the Food Network and set the timer to turn off the tv in an hour. I drift off to sleep listening to Alton Brown or Mark Summers go on about one thing or another. And then five hours later, I start all over again.

What in the hell do I have to converse about? How the grass in my front yard is a total failure? (It is, btw. Hubby fertilized and seeded and I dunno what pattern he was going in, but it looks ridiculous. And it's so effing LONG! The man needs to get his shit together and mow the damn thing! I would totally take it over because I'm pretty sure I could do better, but then I would seriously be responsible for everything in this house. And fuck that. You can be in charge of one little postage-sized yard, ya doofus! /rant) But really, who the hell cares about that??? I guess that's really my problem because obviously when I have something to talk about, I can beat that horse til there's nothing left. But when I have nothing to say and no response to the other side of a conversation, I say nothing. I totally force the other person to carry the conversation. Which, is so completely backward from how I used to be. I think when I was younger, I had the opposite problem - I monopolized conversations.

How do I fix this problem? Other than going out and buying a life? Because I really don't think that I can do that. How do I try to hold up my end of the conversation? What do I talk about, when my life is as dull as it is?? Someone! Anyone! Help me out here!

PS. I'm having a better day today, if you couldn't tell. I'm trying not to wallow in the uncertainty of the whole Opa situation. He's beat cancer before, granted he's older now, but my negativity isn't going to help. I have to stay positive. I have to be hopeful that it's going to be okay, no matter what the outcome. So, I've only teared up a couple times today. Quite the improvement from yesterday.

How fun!

Last night was the first session of the photography class that I'm taking this summer. Good times! The instructor is a girl around my age who has a degree in photography from NIU. She works for a studio in the area that does all the photos for the local schools. So, sporting events, school pictures, dances, etc. How fun does that sound??? I think it sounds like one of the coolest things ever! Not surprisingly, she said the in the last six months or so, she's watched her job go from full-time, pushing overtime on a regular basis to minimal part-time hours. Sucks.

Anyway, the class consists of myself and two other women, probably in their late 50's or early 60's. One is a teacher and the other is a nurse. Both very nice ladies. And the instructor, Cathy, is great, too. Last night's class was just kind of an overview of what we'll be talking about over the next six weeks. But it was very informative already. My assignment is to go out and try out the different settings on my camera, now that I have a little insight as to how they work. Should be fun. I'm going to try to go visit Mel this afternoon. The plan is to take some photos of her kids (and maybe a couple of the two of us, since aside from my wedding, the only ones I have of us are from maybe 8th grade) and just futz around with the settings. I'd really like to get some more photos of PEOPLE in my portfolio. I'm a bit nervous to look like a dummy, but I don't think she or her kids will mind. ;-) I'm looking forward to the classes. Hopefully, I can gain some real insight on how to take better photos.

7 + 7 = Thank you!

So, I mentioned earlier today that I was going to make another post this evening - something I wanted to give it's own post to, rather than cramming it in with the rest of the weekend bits. So, here it is!!!

Hayley at When I Grow Up officially gave me my first blog award!!!

Yay me! :-D

Onto the rules of the award!!!

1. List 7 things you love.

2. Link to the person who tagged you. (done!)

3. Choose 7 bloggers who you think should receive the award next.

Seven things that I love (I, too, am going to skip the obvious...the whole point is to share something new, right?)

1. The smell of clean sheets on the bed, especially if they've been dried outside on a sunny, breezy day.

2. BBQ Chicken with baked potatoes & corn on the cob. My all-time favorite meal, which I've been making once a week since I got my grill on Easter weekend. lol

3. Accomplishing something that I've put my mind to - like creating a new layout for my blog or planting some new flowers or going to the zoo (by myself) on what could've been a crummy day.

4. TV - I have an unhealthy addiction to tv. And it's compounded by the fact that I don't actually watch them on TV, but on the computer. I download more than 20 shows per season and watch them when I have time. It makes for AWESOME marathons. Don't judge me. :-P

5. Taking a ride down memory lane. It was so much fun going to that wedding a couple weeks ago. Catching up with old friends that I hadn't seen in almost 10 years. And a couple weeks before that, I was sorting through some old photos when I visited my parents. Some of those pictures brought back fantastic memories. Things that I'd tucked away into the back of my brain. Things that made me smile. And made me miss the good ol' days.

6. Camping/road trips - these two go hand in hand. I'd never been camping OR on a road trip until my husband and I started dating. I was terrified the first time we went camping. I didn't have any idea what to expect. But it was so much fun! And I can't wait until we have kids that we can bring along with us. Hubby really knows his stuff and I'll be so excited to watch him teach it all to our children.

7. Planning things. For as long as I can remember, I always loved to be in charge of planning, specifically planning events. In high school, when a dance was about a month out, I started planning the before and after events. While at the dance, I organized our ENORMOUS group of friends into one group photo. I love planning parties and get togethers with friends, even if they never turn out as planned. I like everything to be big and I want everyone to feel like they're an important part of the event. I like to make lists - I write my grocery list out at least two times, maybe even three, before I run out to the store. I'm a planner.

Wow...Started that with one sentence on the first one and then progressively yammered more and more with each one. What else is new.

Next rule! Tag 7 other bloggers who deserve the award.

I'm pretty sure that ALL of you have already gotten this award, but whatev. I thinks ya'll deserves it, so there it is. :-)

1. Hayley, the rules say nothing about giving the award right back to the presenter, so that's what I'm doing. Thank you so much! Both for the award, but also for the kind words and prayers that you offer me. I'm honestly flattered. I find your photos beautiful - they express so much and show off what's important to you, and I feel like I get a window into your world. I must have told you a BUNCH of times already, but I always find your words so poetic. You always seem to know that right thing to say and put it so beautifully. So...again, thanks! :-)

2. Terri at 488 Miles Away. I admire your dedication to your family. You make me realize how important it is to cherish the time that you have with your loved ones. I'm so glad that I asked you some questions about Sexy Stud and even more glad that you took the time to answer them!

3. Ashley at Ashley's Closet. I get so excited when I see a new blog from her in my reader. I love the funny/sweet/hilarious stories that she shares about her children and her life. She's going through a bit of a rough patch right now, and I'm sending positive mojo her way. Whatever positivity you can send her way, please do.

4. Stephanie at It Happens & Inspirational Madness. I debated about posting only one of your blogs, but I like them both, a lot! Steph, I admire you in so many ways. You're such a free spirit, but at the same time, so dedicated. You are the girl that I know I could turn to no matter what. It could be three in the morning and I'm stuck in the rain with a flat tire. I know that you'd not only answer your phone, but be there as soon as you could. You are an amazing girl and I hope you know I love ya!

5. Stacie @ Stacie's Madness, if for no other reason than the rather large man in the orange croc. lol You are a hoot! You seem like such fun - someone that I'd love spending time with.

6. Beth @ I Should Be Folding Laundry because, well, she's awesome. In my little world, she's like the cool kid that I desperately want to be friends with and hang out with, hoping that some of her coolness will rub off on me. Her photography skills are fabuloso and her strength and love are inspiring.

7. I couldn't leave out Mel @ The Dumbest Smart Girl You Know. She's one of my oldest and best friends. There was a time in our lives when we didn't talk nearly enough and my family would always ask how she was doing. I told them what I'd last heard from her and my dad would always remind me to hold on to that friendship. That she'd stuck by me when many of my other friends hadn't. That we'd been through so many things together and that she'd been a good friend to me and I should be the same for her. He was right (as always). While we don't talk or hang out nearly as much as I wish we could, she IS a great friend; a smart, strong, beautiful woman, a loving mother, and a friend that I plan on holding on to forever. Love ya, Meem!

And now that I've stayed up past my bedtime, I'm off to dreamland. Good night All!

Belated Weekend Update, and then some!

Hello Friends!

I'm getting a little lax on these weekend updates. I mean, we're halfway to next weekend already! (Woohoo!)

This weekend was great! It was so nice to have an extra day off. Saturday, we spent the morning in the yard. Hubby mowed the lawn & did the edging/weed wacking while I trimmed the bushes and pulled weeds. We planted some flowers (petunias, pansies, lamb's ear & New Guinea impatiens. I haven't taken any photos yet - I'll have to get on that sometime this week. We were going to put down mulch, but Hubby made the mistake of asking the neighbor across the street how much he used. He tells Hubby he used THIRTY TWO bags of mulch!!! We only had six. And I'm still not convinced that six wasn't enough. But Hubby didn't want to start the job if we couldn't finish it. So, that was the end of our yardwork. It was fun, though, what we did do. I got a bit of a sunburn, but I needed some color and pink is better than pasty! We took a four hour nap after our hard work outside and then hung out in the office for the rest of the day. Sunday & Monday, we just relaxed. Hubby slept most of the days, while I worked on my blog layout (which, I think I may change again this weekend...Maybe I'll just use a different bgd on the actual blog part...). I grilled a couple times and then it was Monday night and I was back to getting ready for work. :-P

We still don't have any news on the future of our company. My coworkers are doing a demo of our software this week for the high-ups at this other company, who might be interested in buying us. We will see what happens. I have to admit that I was surfing around Monster & CareerBuilder this weekend...Just keeping my eyes & ears open.

I'm starting a photography class through the park district tomorrow. I'm really excited about it! Not just about learning how all the settings on my fancy dancy camera work, but also about meeting other people in the area who have an interest in something that I enjoy. Maybe, just maybe, I'll make a friend!!! Someone who lives less than an hour away! How exciting! It's a six week "beginner's" class, then a break for the week of July 4th, and then another 6 week "intermediate" class. Did I mention how excited I am??? :-)

I have something else to discuss, but that topic will get its own blog post. Probably later today. Until then, hasta!

Let's Play a Little Catch Up!

So, Thursday I went to see the doc. She gave me another pregnancy test and, for those who don't already know, it came back negative again. So, I'm inclined to believe her. I can't say I was surprised, but I was really hoping against hope that the home tests were just wrong. I still haven't gotten my period, but the doc says there really isn't anything to worry about when you miss a month. She said if I miss another month to come see her again, as there may be something wrong. She also gave me some other signs to look for if/when I DO get my period, things that might signify an ovarian cyst or an ectopic. So, yay.

So, after leaving there, I stuck with my plan for the zoo. I made the hour drive over there, got lost trying to find the South parking lot because I HATE the North Gate. If you've ever been to Brookfield Zoo, you probably came in the North gate. You have to cross 31st St and they have this massive tunnel under the road. And the hill at either side of the tunnel is like climbing Mt. Everest. (I'm exaggerating - I just really hate the tunnel) So I finally find parking, make my way into the zoo, grab a map and start making me way around. I only stayed for a few hours - it was a gorgeous day and I got a little sun, which has already faded back to pasty white. I saw most of my favorite animals - lions, tigers, bears, monkeys. And a dino. Mel - you should so take the kids. Brookfield has this huge dino thing going on right now. Although, I have to admit there were a number of children who seemed terrified by the ginormous brotosaurus by the fountain. It costs extra to go in to the dino exhibit, and I wasn't THAT interested, so I chose not to pay the $3. (I'm gonna post pics later...I haven't gotten a chance to edit them, yet)

Friday morning, I got up early and go to work by 7, so I could leave at 3 for my friend's wedding. What an UGLY day for a wedding. It rained all mother loving day. And not just a drizzle. I'm talking downpour for a good portion of the day. Phooey. I leave work at 3, and swing by the Walgreens down the road, before getting on the highway. I was very intent on not slipping and falling in the parking lot, since I was essentially wearing high heel flip flops. I made it in the door without falling down, took two steps into the cosmetic section and felt something soft on my foot and ankles. I look down and MY SKIRT WAS ON THE FLOOR!!!! omg. I couldn't believe it! I was wearing Spanxx (very tight spandex-y shorts), so at least it wasn't my green and yellow underwear alone, and I don't think anyone ACTUALLY saw it, but I was mortified. I wanted to run out of there, but didn't because I really needed to get what I was there for. So I snatched up my skirt, pulled it back up where it belonged and went about looking for the items I needed. Got up to the register, and booked it out of there. If anyone saw my skirtless ass, at least they were kind enough to not say anything or point and laugh loudly enough for me to hear.

I got to my parents' house later than planned, was ready 15 minutes after the ceremony started. I got on the road and what should have taken 15 minutes ended up taking 45 because the damn road I was planning to take was under construction. I finally show up at the hall (which totally wasn't where I thought it was, so it's a good thing I wasn't trying to have a date meet me there. I would have gotten whoever it was lost!). I park, find a couple people I knew from high school and chat them up for a while.

Spunky - a tall, lanky guy that I was very good friends with in high school - was the best man. He gave me a huge hug and we talked about what we're doing now. He's a lawyer and works for one of the more well-known bankruptcy firms in the Chicagoland office. Hopefully I'll never need the help, but it's good to know that if I do, he offered a free one, on him. lol He's dating someone that he's VERY happy with and says this is the first relationship he's ever had that he felt serious about. They've only been together nine months, so I think he's still a little honeymooning, but I'm glad to hear that he's happy.

I was at a different table from Spunky, but was with another friend from hs. Diego was another one of our 'Back Hall Crew.' He was there with his girlfriend, who I'd never met before. She asked me what Diego was like in high school. I had a hard time coming up with words to describe him. He and I had shared roles in stage techs, but he always did far more work and I just organized people. I had a huge crush on him, but then, I had crushes on MANY MANY guys in high school. I have a sneaking suspicion that Diego was/is a stoner. His locker was a couple down from mine. All in all, he was a good guy. He's now in a local union and seems to be pretty happy. He told me about a couple brothers that also hung out with us SM & MM. SM is working for some vaccuum company in marketing, and is happy. But the real news is MM, who works for OPRAH in editing. Apparently, she's taking all her people on a cruise next month and MM gets to go. I'm so jealous. I need to get in touch with that guy and see if he can get me tickets. I <3 Oprah!!!

There was another set of brothers at the wedding - these two are twins - one a complete and total douchebag, the other a complete and total sweetheart...Pretty much the same way that they were 10 years ago. The douche thinks he's God's gift to women, but seriously, he's got the biggest beak I've ever seen, he's skinnier than any girl I know and he's got the WORST attitude ever. I watched him as he was waiting to get a drink and he was making goo goo eyes at himself in the mirror. Ew. The sweet one was always pretty quiet and it seemed like he always just followed his brother around, trying to keep himself out of trouble. He was nice to see.

So, the special couple...God, I can't even explain how happy the groom looked when he walked in that room. When we were younger, he was always a little....off key? He wrote poetry and stories that involved a lot of blood and death and darkness. But after talking with Spunky and seeing L's smile while he walked in, I know that he's going to be okay. He was just beaming. And he's such a smart, nice guy. I'm so glad to see that he's found someone that makes him happy. Spunky told me that they've been together about 4 years and that he met her online. Obviously, I didn't get a chance to talk to him - he was a bit busy - but I was just happy to be there and to see that he'd found someone that he loves so very much.

This post is so much longer than I'd intended. I have a ton more to update ya'll on, but I think I'll make a second post with the weekend info.

Weekend Update!

So, I should totally be working for the next 32 minutes. Instead, I'm going to fill you all in on my wonderful weekend. And then if I have any time left over, I'll be making out my grocery list. So there!

This weekend was actually great, as have been many weekends in the last few months. I'm so glad that things have turned around for us. Hubby seems to have taken a chill pill. Or maybe I've stepped up my game. Or maybe God smiled on us. Or maybe all of the above. Whatever the reason, I'm happy.

Thursday morning, I peed on another stick. Once again, I saw that dreaded single line. A minus sign. Telling me you are "without" child. Ugh. Asshole stick. I still haven't started bleeding yet. I'm 3 and a half weeks late. I called the doctor's office this afternoon, spoke with the nurse, who suggested that I come in and see the doctor, though she wasn't too terribly worried about it. So, this Thursday, I go to the doctor. We'll see what she has to say. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed (yeah, I love being let down) that both tests were wrong and that by some miracle, there's a baby in there.

Thursday was also the day that the flowers that I sent to my mom, my grandmother and my mother-in-law were delivered. They all seemed to like them, though they all told me I shouldn't have spent the money. Why can't these women just say thank you and enjoy them? Whatev. I liked sending them.

Friday, after work, I went to visit the fam. It was also Omi's (Omi is German for grandma) birthday, so I had another gift that I knew was going to get the same 'Don't spend your money' response. Before she could even get it out, I told her to just enjoy it and say thank you. Everyone laughed a bit, she called me a Smart Alec and proceded to open the gift. I got a bottle of Reisling and a variety box of cheeses that are specially chosen to go with Reisling. As I though she might, she loved the gift. After that, I went outside with my camera and took some photos of flowers and things around the yard. Mom & Omi are/were very Martha Stewart, so there are so many possible subjects for photos. While I was out there, I noticed how many young children are in the neighborhood again. It's nice to see all the kids out playing together again. Reminds me of when I was a kid. Granted, there are also a lot of older kids that hog the road when you're trying to drive down it, but it's nice to hear the squeals of children and see them enjoying life. Gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling. :-) Once I finished my photo shoot, I went down to the basement and dug out a box of photos. I wanted to pull out some pics of me and past friends to scan and post on Facebook, because seriously, who doesn't like to be embarrassed by photos of themselves in 7th grade? lol I was amazed at how skinny I looked back then. Even in high school. God, I wish I were that thin still....:-P Finished the evening with dinner with my dad and his brother and then watched Happy Feet with my mom. A very nice Friday night.

Saturday morning, got up a bit early, made some coffee and got ready for the handyman!!! We FINALLY had our garage door opener installed!!!!!! The darn thing has been sitting in the garage, in the box, since October. Hubby insisted for months that he was going to do it. When we got our tax return in February, he finally gave in and said that I could pay someone to do it. And why have I been waiting all this time? No good reason. I just never did it. So, he and another guy came on Saturday morning and now I can get in and out of my house with so much more ease! I am THRILLED! The rest of Saturday was spent lazing around, playing WoW and editing photos (Yay Picnik!). Made burgers for dinner on the grill and Hubby actually ate them - an amazing feat, as he never eats anything that's not out of a box or the drivethru.

Sunday, got up around 9, when I could no longer deal with the pain in my shoulder/back. I dunno what it is. A pulled muscle or something. Hurts like a bitch during the night. Made cinnamon rolls and coffee and woke up Hubby around 10. Spent the day doing laundry and playing some more WoW. Started to try to figure out making my own blog layout. I SO want to do this. I have this fabulous idea in my head, but I've just got to a. pull it all together and b. figure out how the hell to get it to work. lol One of these days... Oh! And I took my last test for the class I've been taking!!! I got a 92, which solidifies my A in the class. Yay!

Things I'm excited about this week - Grilling steaks tonight and BBQ chicken later in the week, going to the zoo on Thursday after the doctor (I really want to go to the zoo to take photos. But I want to go alone. I don't want Hubby rushing me or stealing the camera. So, I decided to take the whole day off. After the doctor, I'll drive my happy behind out to the zoo and spend the evening there taking photos of all my favorite animals. Hopefully they won't all be hiding...And the weather cooperates with this plan...), buying and using some new fun makeup, and a wedding for a friend from high school on Friday night. I can't decide if I'm more excited about seeing a. the friend that's getting married and the best man or b. the person that I'm hoping to take as my date. Another very old school friend, who used to hang out with all of us back in the day. God, it's been like 10 years. Boy, do I have stories about her!!! Maybe I will share some tomorrow. For now, it's time to pack up and hit the road, I spent an extra 7 minutes on this post!!!

Ouch

So, I'm not going to lie...I'm kinda really hurt. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Or maybe I take things too personally. Or maybe I read into things too much. I'm not writing this entry as a jab at anyone specific, because chances are, if you're a RL friend and you're reading this, the post isn't meant for you.

I feel like a number of my friendships aren't valued. People that I think really are my friends and really do like me, I'm pretty sure they wouldn't notice if I moved to the moon. Maybe that's my own fault. For a long time, I was a shitty friend. I didn't call people. I didn't make an effort to be around for them. I know everyone has their own stuff going on in life. And I don't expect them to all drop their responsibilities because I asked them to. But when you try to make plans a month ahead of time, so that they can all make it, and you still don't know three days before if anyone's even going to show...it hurts. I don't want to be all 'No one loves me,' but honestly, that's how I feel. When someone else organizes the get together, everyone makes an effort and we all have a good time. Obviously, they value me enough to invite me to these shindigs, but I feel like in the past two years, when I try to make plans, nothing ever comes of it. And I'm always left feeling like I'm the ugly stepsister.

So, I cancel at the last minute. Yes, Hubby invited his mother over for the next day. And yes, that's a bit inconvenient. But I was going to make it work. I was so excited to have some friends over to the house. Lock Hubby away in the office and be obnoxious with my girlfriends. I wanted to show off my cooking skills and jam out with the Rock Band.

Should I say something? (I guess I just did, right? :-/) Do I cut my losses and focus on the few friendships that I do feel are very real? Do I just chalk it up to me being a big baby? How do I show that I want to be a better friend? That I want them to include me?

If I did move to the moon, not only would I want them to notice, I'd want them to want to go with me.