Last week, there was a writing prompt at Twenty Something Writers called "Care Packages". I had planned to write something and then when I sat down to do it, I had a really difficult time coming up with people to send these care packages to, and an even more difficult time coming up with the contents of each package for those that I was able to come up with. So, I abandoned that idea and posted some randomness instead. But Mel had better luck than I did, in this post. And I was one of the recipients of her care packages. As soon as I read the advice that she had for me, I was in tears.
"3. Tell her everything you think but don't necessarily say. Sometimes we think they just know, but it's best to be sure!"
I was beyond choked up, and I attribute that to a couple things. I know that the advice comes from her heart. I know that if given the opportunity, she would have given herself the same advice a year ago. I think the other reason I was upset was that I know she's right. Just rereading her words, I get a lump in my throat. There are so many things that I don't tell my mom. I tell her that I love her every time I see her. Numerous times. She doesn't really talk anymore, just kind of observes everything that's going on around her. But when I tell her that I love her, she smiles and says it back.
That being said, there are a lot of things that I don't tell her. Not for any particular reason. I think it's mostly because I don't want to say anything that might upset her. I only see her for a few hours every two or three weeks, and I'd rather not spend any of that time on a heavy topic, like 'Mom, you are incredibly strong. I hope that I can be half as brave as you have been. I'm sorry that I was a punk ass teenager. I'm sorry that MS has taken so much from you. Thank you for pulling through so many times.' But Melissa is so right. I should tell her these things. She should know how proud I am of her. So, much like Mel's letters to her Gram, I decided to write my mom a letter. I don't know that I'm strong enough to read it to her myself, and I don't think she can see well enough to read it on her own, but maybe my dad can read it to her. That's kind of a cop out, huh? Well, I'll figure that part out later. Letter to Mom, coming soon. Can't do it at work...I'm already a semi-blubbering mess. This post is definitely better done at home.
I think a letter is a wonderful idea. That way, you can be sure to say things exactly the way you want to. I know when I get emotional, my thoughts are all a jumble. And I bet your dad would benefit from being a part of that.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean to overstep. I hope you didn't take what I wrote that way. What you said is true, I wish I KNEW Gram was aware of just how wonderful she was and how much I appreciated every moment I got to share with her!
I love you, lady!
No, you definitely didn't overstep. It was fabulous advice. And I knew that it was coming from a good place.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm the same way - letters are much more cohesive than me trying to speak. Emotions get the best of me and I can't express what it is that I'm really trying to say.
Hi! First and foremost, I want you to know that I really love reading your blog. That said, today you made me feel old. ;) I saw your post about the writing prompts at Twenty Something Writers, so I checked it out. And, I began to write. Then, I realized, "Wait a minute! I AM NOT TWENTY SOMETHING." That is so wrong!!! I mean, that I am not Twenty Something is SO WRONG.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I hope you are coming along swimmingly with your letter to your mom. You've inspired me and I know from the sincerity of your posts that you will do a wonderful job. I'll keep you in my prayers! Break a leg! Or, a pencil point...or whatever you say to writers! :)