Weekend Update

I had a very nice, albeit short, weekend! Friday night, I came home and watched back episodes of The Cleaner with Benjamin Bratt. It's the story of an ex-addict who in his own recovery has found a calling to help others through the same thing. He is hired by people who have loved ones suffering from some kind of addiction - drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex - they mostly focus on drug addicts in the show, though. William (Bratt's character) and his team track down the addict, find the supplier, "catch" the addict and bring them to a rehab facility. They talk about how the failure rate of these caught addicts is 75%. Only one quarter of all the people that they bring to rehab are successful in kicking their habit. Yikes. Anyway, I got sucked into the show. That's what I did on Friday. I had leftovers for dinner, made Hubby his BLT's and went to bed.

Saturday, I woke up around 7 when Hubby got home from work. We hung out for a while - he played WoW, I played Sims 3. I did a bit of cleaning and then took a shower and ran some errands. Finally got my pool pass - definitely going to take advantage of that soon. Went to JoAnn Fabrics and got some material to make a backdrop for my photos. Came back home and ordered a pizza for dinner. Watched some more Cleaner and went to bed around 10.

Sunday, Hubby woke me up around 6, after he'd been up for an hour and a half. Before I even woke up, he did some cleaning and put on a pot of coffee for me. We had some breakfast and I finished up with the cleaning while he went out and mowed the lawn. I did a bit of sewing - my backdrop isn't quite what I'd planned, but it's not bad. It serves its purpose. And then around 2, Mel & the kids came by. We took some pics at the house, but I had forgotten how difficult it can be to get 2 and 3 year olds to sit still and look in the same direction at the same time. So, we put the nix on that and went out to the park. It was a beautiful day and I think the kids had a nice time. I got some great pics at the park, which I'll be sharing soon. After while, the kids got tuckered out, so they all headed back home. Spent the rest of the evening having dinner with Hubby and talking about plans for the week.

Like I said, short & sweet. :-)

Happy monday

Good Morning, My blogging friends! I need your help!!

Hubby and I are doing some sort of vacay in a couple weeks and I'm in the market for a new swimsuit. I have a really cute one right now, but I'm unhappy with the way the bottom fits, so I tend to only wear the top with jeans while I'm working in the yard and such. So....I'm on the prowl. I've narrowed down my search to two suits - pictures below. Please let me know which one you like the best!

Images all from Fashion Bug

Geez...Another one...? Really?

Hmmm...This post started as one thing and has completely progressed into another.

So, I found out today that another one of my sorority sisters is pregnant. That makes three (that I know of) that are currently prego and two more that just had babies in the last year. Seriously? WTF Man?

So, to make myself feel better, I decided to try to come up with reasons why I'm glad I'm not prego:

• I can drink a whole bottle of wine tonight to drown my sorrows
• I don't have to go out and try to find maternity clothes for my already large body
• I can spend money on myself, my husband and my cats a new ac compressor, rather than diapers and formula
• I...theoretically can sleep through the night in whatever position I find comfortable
• I......can't come up with anything else.

Yeah, that list is short. And shitty. Here's my other list, which trumps the one above a million times over.

Reasons why I'm NOT glad that I'm not prego:

• I want a family.

Ugh.

Today, my friend and I went to lunch together. She's a pretty skinny minnie and a nice girl, I'd say she's one of my closest friends right now. She's taking a nutrition class, required for the nursing program that she's trying to get into. And this nutrition class is killing me. Every time she has class, the next day, she comes back telling me about how many calories she should be eating and how she's way over that number. And how her body fat % (or some shit like that) is just below where it should be. And how to lose weight, you just need to reduce your calorie intake and increase your exercise.

Girl, I've been fat my whole life. Do you think this is news to me? Do you think if it was as easy as putting down the gallon of ice cream and running around the block, don't you think I'd do that? For 25 years, I've been steadily getting fatter. Every time I try to lose weight, I do okay in the beginning and then I fall off the proverbial wagon. Despite my above statement, I don't sit in front of the tv with a bucket of ice cream for days on end. I think I eat okay - not the best, but it's not like I go to McDonalds for every meal. My biggest problem with food is portions. I make something that I like and I eat way too much of it.

And with exercise...Ew. I hate sweat. JB (my friend from work) asked me if I wanted to go outside to the nearby park for lunch today. I looked at her like she was insane and responded with a definite no. She said to me 'But it's so nice out. It's not as humid.' I replied with 'Let me remind you. I get to hang out with the 90 degree weather on my drive home every day. I sweat buckets just sitting there. I have no desire to come back to work after that.' And she tells me that sweating is good for you and that she, in fact, likes to sweat. Let me reiterate...Sweat = ew. I feel gross and smelly and once you go back inside and it dries, then I feel all grimey. Ew. No thank you. She conceded. We went to Ditka's and had Tuna Nicoise Salads. Pretty yummy, although if she hadn't been lecturing me about losing weight discussing her nutrition class with me, I would've ordered the chicken parm.

This rant about weight and food and exercise is related to the original topic. Majorly. Three reasons. 1. We don't have a lot of sex. I don't feel attractive anymore (I'm at my heaviest right now) and Hubby is far too engrossed in his game to notice when I try to initiate. 2. When we do have sex, who in Jehovah knows if I'm ovulating. My period's all wonky (related to my weight). 3. Even if we were having sex regularly or when I'm supposedly ovulating, it's terribly difficult for someone of my size to get pregnant.

So, anyway, I'm feeling a little boo hoo about it. I'm feeling angry about it. I'm feeling ... I dunno. I wish I could say inspired, but I feel the opposite. When I think about losing weight, I think about how much weight there is for me to lose and I'm discouraged. There's this GIGANTIC mountain in front of me and all I can think about is how hard it's going to be to get to the top. How absolutely impossible it looks. I think of all the sweating and how many times I'm going to fall down and the exhaustion that will go along with it. And I don't even take the first step. I'm just content to sit here at the bottom and wait for my jetpack to instantly appear on my back and take me to the top.

I don't know what I need to motivate myself. I don't know how to look at the mountain and say okay, there's a rock about 10% of the way to the top. Get to the rock. And then look for the next rock. And the next. I want to make it to the top. Hell, I'd be thrilled with myself if I could make it halfway or even 25% of the way up the mountain. I quite obviously know what needs to be done, I just can't find it in myself to do it.

I want it to be easy.

I want it all to be easy. Losing weight. Getting pregnant. Paying the bills. Getting the car fixed. Work. Life.

Grow up.

I'm rambling and the inner voices are starting to come out. Looks like it's time to put this incoherent mess to rest. Maybe the lesson here is that easy isn't always best. Sometimes, you really do have to work for what it is that you so desperately want in your life...

OMG...I'm dyin here...

I have one hour and 8 minutes until the bell (in my head) rings, signaling the end of the work week. Normally, I can easily pass an hour reading blogs or futzing around on Facebook or reading/sending emails. Today, there is NOTHING. No blog updates in almost two hours. No emails since this morning. And it seems everyone I know on Facebook is at the Crosstown Classic. So, it's pretty quiet over there, too. What am supposed to do for the next 66 minutes?

Work, you say? Pfft.

I'm so over that for this week.

This weekend should be fun. I need to clean some - my floors are looking kinda grungy. And the litter boxes are bad. I asked Hubby to take care of that more days ago than I care to count. I hope he cut the grass today. We put down a bunch of mulch around the trees and flower beds. Looking pretty nice, even though it's not the color that he was supposed to get. Still looks fresh. That's what matters. I guess.

Oooh..I sent some texts. And looked at FB again. Now we're down to T minus 45 42. Woo!

My hair is a big fluffy mess today. If I spray it with curl enhancer when it's wet in the am and give it a little scrunch, I get nice wavy-ish curls. Most of the time. Today, apparently I didn't put enough enhancer in. So instead of loose, wet-looking waves, I have dry, fluffy (It's really the best word to describe the state of my hair) Shirley Temple-ish curls. Not so cute on a 27 year old.

I got some AWESOMELY CUTE (not to mention inexpensive) sandals at Sears yesterday. Three pairs, $35. Today, I'm wearing brown. They've got a cute little wedge heel and topaz colored jewels on the straps. And the part that's actually touching the bottom of my foot is a fuzzy material, instead of rubber. Makes for less stinkiness later, I thinks. I got white ones that have a white, almost pleated ribbon on the straps, with a little rhinestone buckle. These two pair were marked down to $8 from $13. And the last pair is just a plain black leather (maybe pleather, given the price) flip flop, originally $30, marked down to $16. I haven't been wearing a lot of sandals this summer. Mostly because my shoes are all still packed away in some unknown location, but also because when I do anything other than socks and gym shoes, my feet and ankles swell up like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man. And that ends up meaning sore ankles. But, at least my toes aren't hot...Right?

T minus 26. We're doing good here!

Melissa and the kids are supposed to come over on Sunday. That should be hella fun! If Hubby gets his shit together, I might have a quasi-photo studio set up by then, so we'll have a place to take some pics. And then maybe if the weather cooperates like it's supposed to, we can head over to the Forest Preserve for some more candid-type photos. Mel - would you be interested in going to the pool after pics? There's a zero depth pool, where we can take the kids (I'm sure there will be plenty of other kids there, too). If not, I'm cool with that too. Just thought I'd throw it out there. I'll have to see about visitor passes - let me know.

Okay, the boss just asked me to Proof read something for him (yeah, my grammar freak tendencies have gotten around), so if I wanna get out of here in 21 minutes, I better hop to it. Thanks for helping me kill some time, folks! :-D

Fourteen Days...

(and only nine are working days) until my summer vacation begins. Hubby and I always take the week after his birthday off work. Sometimes, we go somewhere, sometimes not, but we always have that week off. He wants me to work two of the days, so that he can have his own, solo vacay (which means be able to sit around without my nagging for two days). I refuse to do this. I'll give him what he wants - that is, I'll leave the house, but hell will be freezing over before I come into work those two days. Maybe I'll go visit the fam for a day. Or maybe I'll go visit Mel. I already told a friend that I'd come take pics of her newborn sometime that week. She lives out that way. I have a free pass to the Shedd, maybe I'll take advantage of that one day. Or maybe I'll just go to the pool both days. But SOHELPMEJEEBUS, I'm not breaking up my week off just because it's his birthday and we annoy each other. lol

So, Tuesday & Wednesday, I'm banned from the house. Cool. We're supposed to do something Thursday - Sunday. Maybe camping. Maybe a resort. Maybe just a roadtrip. Maybe we'll end up doing nothing (I'll be really incredibly bummed if this ends up being what we do). We live about an hour west of Chicago. If we're going away someplace, it's gotta be within 400-500 miles. Anyone have any good suggestions for a long weekend???

Post for Terri @ 488 Miles

Girl,
Your comments are not working on your oh-so-pretty new layouts. Every time I try to comment, nothing happens. :-( And I can't figure out how to email you, so I'm hoping this works. For everyone that's not Terri...Sorry for polluting your readers. :-)

Lost & Found

I lost a follower today. I was hurt for a moment. Until I realized it was some random that had mysteriously appeared there a couple weeks ago. And now she's mysteriously disappeared. Such is life.

I found some new photos (well, new, as in I've taken them in the last week and decided to do something with them). They're over here. I haven't done any edits to them. Just SOOC. Good deal.

Oh, and just so I can prove how unGodly hot it was on the ride home yesterday, have a pic outta my phone...

Can you see it? The part where it says 100??? Stop yelling at me for taking photos while I'm driving 60 mph. Do you see the thermostat!!?!? This wasn't even the worst! It went up another degree! Stupid hot. Stupid humid. I'm so getting this shit taken care of tomorrow. I'm too much of a whiny brat to be driving around with no air.