I'm at about 50%...

I always end up all over the place in these posts...I have so much to say, and just want to tell you everything! Perhaps if I posted more than once every two weeks, I wouldn't feel the need to jam it all into one post. Oh well. I do. Get over it. :-)

In one of my more recent posts, I discussed resolutions. I've been doing quite well with the church one. I've gone to mass every weekend since the beginning of the year. Granted, that's only three weeks, but it's 2 more weeks than the last time I thought I was ready to go back. And frankly, I don't see myself slacking on this one. I feel really good about it. That first Sunday, I went back to St. Charles Borromeo (SCB), the church that sort of reminds me of my old "home." It's about the same size and probably about the same age. They've got a choir (which is very important to me - I NEED to get back singing) and it's the closest. But I wanted to check out some of the other churches in the area, to make sure that I find the one that is right for me.

So, for the last two weeks, I attended mass at St. Mary's. I don't think I've ever seen a Catholic church this big. When I pulled into the parking lot, I literally out-loud, to myself, exclaimed 'Holy Crap!' It looked enormous to me. Inside is beautiful. Very, very large. It was built in 2001, so it has these modern-ish features. I don't know if I'd ever be comfortable in a parish that is so enormous. I've always enjoyed being a part of small things - small church, small(ish) high school, small colleges, small company. It does seem like St. Mary's has a lot to offer, including a choir (and a youth group that is looking for adult volunteers!). But I have to admit, I feel a bit overwhelmed there. And to be perfectly honest, the pews are really uncomfortable. lol They're low to the ground, and I find it near impossible to kneel on the kneelers. Maybe a silly con, but a con still.

This coming weekend and the week after, I'm planning on going to St. Catherine's, which a bit further (maybe 15 or 20 minutes from home), but I've heard a lot of good things about it. My aunt/uncle/cousins live in the area, so I asked for some suggestions. My aunt and cousin highly suggested this one, saying that they have a nice choir, youth programs, and while it's not a small church by any stretch, it's not as gigantic as St. Mary's. One of my coworkers told me that this is the church that she grew up going to and says that she likes it much more than SCB, where she had her children baptized. I'm really excited to go to mass at St. Catherine's on Sunday. I'm hoping that this one will be the perfect fit for me.

My second resolution - keeping better track of my sugar levels - is going okay. I'm testing at least once a day (supposed to do twice a day). I'm often surprised to see how high it is. Especially in the morning. I guess knowing is part of the battle, though. If I know it's high, I can be better prepared to combat it.

My final resolution - the same one that I have had every year since I was probably 9 - is stagnant. I just don't have motivation. I'm not hashing this out again. I'm just sayin...1.5 out of 3 isn't too bad, right? :-/

In other news, my birthday was a week ago today. It was really a fantabulous birthday! Seriously, best birthday in years. I must have gotten about 200 emails/facebook posts/blogs wishing me a happy birthday. I spent some extra time that morning and curled my hair, wore my favorite sweater and was ready for a happy day. Hubby texted me and told me to get home by 4, so that we could go to dinner. I got to work and my coworkers had decorated my desk (it's a tradition to do this, and usually I'm the one in charge of remembering bdays and buying a card & balloon). They got me the COOLEST balloon! It's bigger than your standard mylar balloon and it's clear! (I used to collect balloons in high school...Yeah, I'm an oddity of sorts...) I got to leave work a bit early, so I did a bit of shopping. Then went to dinner at Olive Garden with the Hubs. It was really a great day. It doesn't take much.

I spent a good part of Saturday working on my resume. I've finally decided to stop being passive about the whole situation and hoping that it gets better. I sent it to my dad, who gave me some suggestions on improving it, so I'm intending to update it later this week and perhaps start applying for some job openings next week. I'm nervous about it, but I need to at least see what's out there.

Today is 4 months since Opa passed. I still get choked up (and usually in tears) on a pretty regular basis. Songs do it for me a lot of the time. My birthday was kinda tough. But I guess I'm doing better. I talk to him a lot. Especially when I got teary eyed. I do feel his presence and I know he's always listening. So I take those moments to tell him how much I miss him and love him.

Hubby asked to go back to 2nd shift yesterday. He thinks his 1st shift boss is out to get him. I don't know what to think. He has a bad track record with authority figures (as in he pisses off his boss for some stupid shit and gets fired...), so if he thinks the boss might be heading down that road, then I'm supportive of the 2nd shift. I was really liking him on 1st, though. It's nice to spend time with him before bed. And to actually sleep with him at night. And to wake up together. I told him that I would've liked him to stay on 1st, but not if it means that he's going to end up without a job!

I think that's all I've got on news...I may be posting a meme next...We'll see. I really should be working right now. But I'm at a bit of a standstill with work tasks, so meme-ing sounds a lot more interesting. :-)

It's always about a guy, isn't it?

Wow...Well, if that's not a sign from God, I don't know what is...

I had just typed out this long post about how I broke up with Hubby five months before our wedding because I was head over heels with this guy that I'd met at Thursday night Karaoke.

And then when I went to post it, I received an error and the entire post was gone. Guess I wasn't meant to tell that story...I've got another one, but it's far less interesting. :-)

Hubby's stint on 1st shift ends tomorrow. I can't say that I'm sad. I have decided that I like him best on 2nd shift, and that's where he's going, as of Monday. He works 2-10pm and gets home by 11. I don't have to wake him up in the morning, and he's not waking me up at 4am. I can make whatever I want for dinner and don't have to worry about making a second meal for him. I can go to bed when I want, without feeling like an asshat. If I feel like waiting up for him, I can and I won't be exhausted the next morning. Our weekends won't be jacked up like they are when he's on third shift. Yeah, second shift is by far MY favorite.

He's not so excited about it, though. I actually think he's rather bummed about it. He doesn't have any buddies on that shift. And his friends on his game will all be going to bed around the time that he gets home. The last couple of days, he's been sorta down in the dumps. I think it's a combination of the shift change and the acceptance of some of the household responsibilities. Not that he's taking on any new cleaning jobs, but he's FINALLY taking an interest in our finances, realizing that he needs to be an active part of keeping everything in order. But with that, comes some of the stress of it all. And I think he doesn't really know how to handle it. I don't know what to do to try to help him out of his funk. I tried to ask him last night, when I got home at 6:30 and he was already in bed (!!!). But he didn't want to talk about it. He says he just doesn't feel like he's got anything better to do, so why not just go to bed. He doesn't want to eat dinner. And then I feel like as ass for not wanting to go to bed, but sorry, I need to eat some dinner and relax for a few minutes before going to sleep. I don't mind 9 or even 8, but 6? That's just ridiculous. And frankly, I don't have any real suggestions for things for him to do. Nothing that's exciting enough to get him out of bed, anyway.

Ugh, this story is just boring. Maybe I'll have something more interesting to share tomorrow. When I'm all dressed up for Halloween!!! WOO HOO!!! Love dressing up at work!

Time to go home now! Hasta Manana, Friends!

So...I'm on the hunt...

This week has just been a bad week. I'm ready for the weekend, already!!!

On Monday, we found out that Bossman Bob received a new offer for our company. (To catch up on the whole story, go here, here and here.) The new offer is much closer to what he was asking and it looks like he's going to take it. The three "managers" (who are really just programmers who've been here the longest) and one of the other programmers, who's been with the company for about 6 years, spent most of the day in our conference room, while JB and I worked in the office. When they came back to the office, they told us that basically we're looking at a buyout in the next 60 days or so. So, now the next step is to work with the new company on employment contracts - basically to make sure we all still have jobs. I asked one of the managers (Messy) if he thought this was going to be good or bad and he said that he thought it'd be a good thing for the company and for the software. The company that is buying us is much bigger, has more resources and has a better vision for the future.

JB was more interested in the contract negotiation, though. She asked when we'd be talking about it and Messy simply said that the "group" (the four programmers plus one more programmer who works part time) would be discussing it, but that everyone (the only remaining employees are myself, JB & one other programmer who's been here about a year) would be protected.

So, we both went about our business. Monday came and went. About halfway through Tuesday, the "group" were kind of talking in the office about benefits and whether or not they all approved of this or that. It was the kind of conversation where you know there's something not being said. So, JB went snooping. And very easily found a document that the "group" had put together. This document basically outlined our "demands". In it, the "4.5 core members" of the team would be guaranteed 18 months employment, whereas the "other 3 employees" get a 6 month contract and a chance to train for new roles.

I feel like they're throwing us under the bus. And I also feel like if JB hadn't gone snooping, we never would've known what was coming. She told me she asked one of the other managers this morning (Barbie) about what was going on and Barbie DID tell her about the 18 month/6 month variance. She said that the 5 of them have been with the company for longer and blah blah blah. JB and I have been here for 3 years, doesn't that count for something? I just feel like they're looking out for themselves and if we happen to keep our jobs in the process, that's super duper.

On one hand, if I were in their shoes, I would understand, but since it's my ass on the line, it makes me angry. And it makes me resent them for not looking out for the whole team, like they'd originally said they would. I know I've complained about my job and how I'm bored (and I am), but when it comes down to it, who wants to look for a new job in this shitty economy? Well, I do, since who knows if I'll have a job come next spring.

I called my dad last night and talked with him about the whole thing. He told me (and I was already planning) to update my resume and start looking for new jobs immediately. So, I have. I started doing some preliminary career builder searching last night. I'm going to contact my alma mater and see if they have some sort of placement assistance. It's just incredibly stressful. My dad also pointed out the fact that even though they're asking for six months for us, the buyer might say hell to the no, they get two weeks and then hasta la bye bye.

I need to think positively about the situation. A new job means new opportunities. New friends. Possibly a shorter drive to work. Maybe more moula. It's also terrifying.

By the end of the night yesterday, I was okay, though. I'd come to terms with it, I was psyching myself up about the potential goodness of this change.

Let me rewind just a second. A couple weeks ago, I posted about how I'm on this shitty ass late schedule and I hate it and couldn't wait til I could go back to my regular hours, remember? So, last night, I sent an email to the three managers, basically saying now that it's slowed down, I'd like to go back to the early hours. Messy had already left for the day, so Bouncy told me to remind them today. I send a reminder email this morning, and the response is basically that they want me to work 9-5 (or later) from here on out. WTMF???? I never wanted to work these hours. I got FUCKED because all of a sudden we need later coverage?

As much as I love JB and I'm happy for her that she's going to school and shit, it's her fault. She used to work the late shift and I had the early one. I liked it that way. I hate leaving work at six and not being able to do anything after work. I get home at 7 or later. I seriously cannot get a damn thing done working these hours. So, now that she has an unmovable schedule, I'm stuck with the shit hours. It's just bullshit. It just pissed me off to no end this morning. There's nothing I can do about it. I tried to hint to JB when I told her about it that it might be nice for her to work the late shift when she doesn't have class on T/Th, but she's got a kid at home. I can't ask her to be away from her child every night of the week. And as I'm typing those words, the other side of me wants to say it's HER choice to go to school three/four nights a week. Why do I have to sacrifice for her? Because I'm not a bitch. Because I let people walk on me. Because that's life. Suck it up and eat it.

So....Moral of this pissed off story is...If you know of anyone that's hiring in the Chicagoland area, give me a shout. I'm a smart girl; I learn quickly; I'm good with numbers and grammar. I'm a good team player. And I need a new job...Soon.

Change is a-brewin...

Next week, Hubby and I are both starting new schedules. Hubby's company is shutting down third shift again (not sure for how long, again), and he was going to go back to second shift. Which, of course, I was super excited about. I think it works best for us. However, his boss offered him first shift this time, which will be a pretty significant change for him. The last time he was working day shift was like 7 years ago. His hours will be 6am - 2pm. This means he has to leave for work at 5. Should be very interesting to see how this goes. He told the boss that he'd like to try it out, but if it doesn't work, he made sure the boss agreed that he could go back to 2nd.

I think I'd be more excited about this if I was starting a later shift next week. :-P One of our customers is FINALLY putting our software into production next week (this has been a very long time coming...Like since before I started working here 3 years ago...so it's a pretty big deal). One of my managers asked me & JB to rearrange our schedules so that one of us is here between the hours of 7 and 6. She has a kid and is taking classes, so she's very limited on the days that she could work late. And frankly, I wouldn't want to do 7-3 twice a week and 10-6 the other three days, so I'm gonna suck it up and do the later shift, at least for the next month or so.

I love the idea of not starting until 10. That means I can get up later and still have the time to go for a walk, eat some breakfast, shower and get ready for work. But the other side of that coin is that I have to work until 6pm. Which means that I won't get home until 7. I think I'm going to have to start cooking something on the weekend that I can eat leftovers on for the whole week.

We'll see how it all goes down. I worked the late shift yesterday, and I really thought I was going to die when it was 2pm and I still had 4 hours to go. But that may have been compounded by the fact that JB wasn't here yesterday. Her daughter was sicky, so she had to stay home. Her not being here sucks. lol Having a friend around helps to pass the day. Especially JB. We usually go make/buy lunch together. And we chit chat throughout the day. And we encourage one another to not work. lol

No major plans for the weekend. Going home after work today, putting on my pjs and watching a new show that I just found called "The Colony." It's a reality show...The idea is the some natural/catastrophic event took place and they have to start over, pretty much. It's a group of ten people with different backgrounds - a couple different types of engineers, a doctor, a nurse, a handyman, a marine biologist, a contractor and a few others whose jobs I can't remember - and they have to figure out how to survive. They find an abandoned warehouse and figure out a way to filter rain and river water so that it's drinkable. They generate electricity from some old car batteries, but have to come up with a generator for the batteries. They have to figure out where to get food from and how to survive without the comforts of everything that they would've had pre-disaster. Hubby and I watched the first episode together and he totally loved it. It's kinda like 'Kid Nation' was, if you ever saw that. Except with adults. And no "rewards". I dig it. No plans tomorrow. Sims 3 and Chinese food, I think. lol Sunday, I'm going out to my parents' house for lunch. We're going to visit Opa (my grandfather) in the afternoon. He's not doing so well. They've finished the radiation treatments, but I don't know that it's helped any. They started him on hospice a few weeks ago, which is no good sign. Anyway, I'm sure I'll have plenty to say about him next week, and I'm supposed to be working right now, so tears are not an option.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend! Hopefully this rain is done for a while and the sun can grace us with his warmth!

Thinking Positive Thoughts

Okay, so yesterday I whined about why I don't like Hubby being on third. Today, I've decided to not be so pessemistic and I'm trying to come up with reasons why third shift is GOOD.

So, #1. I can shower with the door open (which I prefer to do because the bathroom gets so stinking hot!!!)
#2. I can blowdry my hair without worrying that I'll wake Hubby.
#3. I can snooze for an hour (not that I should...But I can!)

That's all I've got so far....It's better than nothing, though, right? :-)

On a pretty much TOTALLY unrelated topic, I went to see my parents on Friday after work. Mom has not had a jaw pain in about a week!!! The new medication really seems to be doing the trick. It was so nice to see her and be able to talk with her, to see her interact with people, rather than just sorta zoning out inbetween pains.

Booooooooooo!!!!

So Hubby found out today that he's going back to third shift. He couldn't be happier.

I, however, am not so thrilled. I liked having some freedom when I got home from work. I liked being able to cook dinner and watch tv without having to worry that the noise or the smell would wake him up. I liked being able to run the dishwasher, without worrying if there would be any hot water left for his shower. I liked having him home at night, even if he wasn't in the bed with me, it was still nice to not be alone all night long. I liked not having to get him up for work. He's such a crab ass when he gets up and not at all pleasant. Most days, I felt like I was waging war for the 45 minutes between his waking and his leaving. Simply put, I am not at all excited about going back to the old schedule.

I've really been on a sort of Cloud 9 since he started working 2nd shift. I feel like we've been getting along very well and we've both been very happy with how things were going. I'm terrified that we're going to go back to disliking one another. This whole 3rd shift thing is scary the crud out of me. I definitely have a negative attitude going back to it. I hope he's right and that things are going to be okay.

This weekend, I had a little bit of a meltdown...He plays WoW like it's his job. And while I do enjoy playing the game, I'm not nearly as addicted to it as he has become. It's all he ever does. Really. If he's not sleeping, working or pooping, he is playing the game. And this weekend, I felt crummy about it. It was one thing after another and he just wouldn't get up from the game. It's not like I was all in his grill all weekend. I let him sleep in on Saturday morning, I brought him coffee when he got up, I made lunch/dinner, I really just didn't bother him at all on Saturday. Sunday, I went to church and did some shopping. I didn't get home til 2pm. So, really, it's not like I was all 'Love me!' all weekend. But, it was like 5pm and I really was feeling down. I wanted him to do something other than play the game and hit the bowl. And when he told me he was busy, I got all pouty and started crying. Now, I know part of this is due to PMS, and I accept that, but really? All weekend? You can't quit playing long enough to come to bed with me? I am your wife, damnit......../rant

Keep your fingers crossed that third shift isn't the end of the world, please. :-)