Twice in the Same Month? Unheard Of!

So, I'm killing some time this morning. I read all of the blogs that I'm following and that I should update since the last sorta whoa is me post.

Things are fine. I'm just in a rut. I hate feeling like life is stagnant. And I attribute most of my feelings about this to Hubby being out of work. I feel like I'm making the majority of the sacrifices in this deal and it's not fair.

Just dropping in to say hello.

I've been absent for over two months. I know. I suck at blogging. I'm over it, I hope you can be, too. A few months ago, I got busted for spending too much time on the internet while I'm working, so I've been trying to keep it down to the bare minimum (which is really a challenge for this internet junkie...). And to be perfectly honest, I haven't had a whole lot of good, interesting things to talk about. The same bitching about the same things. And I'm sure anyone who reads this blog has their own issues to deal with and isn't really interested in my BS. So, in consideration for YOU, I have been staying away. I still read all the blogs I'm following and I do occasionally type up a blog, and then at the end, I read it back to myself and junk it. A. I don't want to bore you and B. Maybe the things that I'm thinking and feeling really don't need to be put out there for just anyone to read. It's gotten me in trouble before, and chances are, it will again. Let's just say that this girl (me), who tries to learn from all her mistakes, is seriously regretting certain decisions in her life. Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. Hopefully, I'll return again before another two months have passed.

I just don't have much to say these days...

Life isn't so great right now, and I really just don't feel like putting it down in words. I think about it all the time. I've even typed up a couple posts, and then after re-reading them, decided not to post because, really, who wants to read about me complaining about the same old shit? I'm just having a tough time finding the positive in life right now. I feel a bit like I'm stuck in limbo.

Hubby is still not working. Today is the beginning Week 14. He has gone back a couple times, which ended up screwing us for the first two weeks in July. I was concerned that the unemployment wouldn't be enough to get us through, but two weeks without it has really pushed me to stretch our dollars as much as possible. And I feel as though I've cut back on a good amount of my usual expenses. I've had to turn down social invitations because I can't afford to participate. The only "extravagance" that I've continued to shell out dollars for is my hair because it makes me feel good about myself and I'm working hard and I deserve it, damnit.

He doesn't ever want to talk about the lack of work. He doesn't want to talk about looking for a new job because he has faith that he's going to go back full time. He complains that when I pester him about looking for a job, it makes him feel like less of a man. 'What kind of man sits around and doesn't work for 3.5 months?' My response? EFFING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! He doesn't want to hear that either. He says I just don't get it. And maybe I don't, but I agree with one of his regular statements. He's not being much of a man. In more ways than one. Okay, so you're laid off. You're on unemployment. I get it, you don't feel like you're providing financially. I can understand that. But how about some lovin? Oh, no! Your hindered manliness keeps you from getting it on now, too. That's just awesome. Sex twice since you've been laid off? And it's not like I haven't tried. I'm just turned down every time.

I find myself wondering WTF am I doing?